I have called Washington, D.C. my home for nearly five years. As sure as it is a place of power, it is a place of secrets. Many secret societies exist in D.C. but I have uncovered the most secret of them.
The Used Condoms and Human Waste and Chicken Bones Society is what I will call them until I learn more. If not for my dog, I never would have noticed their presence, but if you walk these streets long enough, you become a-tuned to the signs and symbols, which once decoded, will elude to a vast conspiracy at the highest levels of government: some human crap inside of a miniature cooler near 14th and Spring Northwest, a used condom in the alley west of 13th street, A chicken bone in a gutter near Girard, pointing North. Nay! A clandestine communique!
It has become clear to me that this society trusts the secrecy of their clandestine communications to only the most complex of cyphers. They appear to be encoding there messages through a system of chicken bones, used condoms and remnants of human excrement, precisely placed in key locations all over the city. I have spent many long hours plotting these locations on a google map and scribbling in the darkness. Slowly I am learning their system.
I cannot yet say what their master plan may be, but it is obvious that there has been a lot of chatter, mainly in the chicken bone script as of late. Kingston is especially adept at locating these. I am not sure what this means, but I will continue my work to uncover the truth.